Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Where Ever You Go, There You Are

I was starting a new Chapter in a story I'm writing and I opened my Merriam-Webster Thesaurus and out of the first few pages pops out a postcard. But, it's not just any postcard, it's a photograph of Main Street United Methodist Church, a beautiful church located on North Main in Suffolk, Virginia.
And this is kind of symbolic for me because that was essentially one of my Home Churches and I hadn't gone there in about six or seven months because I had moved.
When I moved I had to leave pretty much everything I knew as a part of my then present life.
My friends, the friends I still call my "True Family", the ocean, average sized cities, Downtown Suffolk, eighty-one Acres, my cat.
And since I had moved a lot had changed.
I started going to another United Methodist Church, where the Youth Group welcomed me with open arms almost.
My Mother-Unit, Barbara, began to live again, but as different person than I remembered from a year ago.
I had started working on getting my G.E.D.
I've seen more rain than I had ever seen in Virginia in a period of seven months.
I had recently decided that there were somethings in my life that needed desperately to change, so I'm trying.
Even my outlook on God had drastically changed.

So after all that and more that had happened, I'm starting a new chapter in a long story that I'm writing and there lies in my lap this photograph of church that was once my home, but now seems so far away, just seven months ago and it is a part of a completly different chapter in my life.

It's ironic how life can change so drastically in short periods of time.
I used to spend time thinking about the past, basically living in a time when my life was simple and easy.
But my life will never change back to what it was, not even what it was, say, five weeks ago.

My father used to say that there would come a time when he wasn't around me to talk to or to hug, that time came and it can never go back.

And I can't live in the future, because you never what's going to happen.

I want become a pastor, a philosopher, but also want learn more about the growing technology, the opensource comunity that's striving to put technology back into the hands of the average Joe Blow. But, half way through college I could decide I want to join the Airforce or the Army and drop everything to follow that calling.

I might end up back in Virginia, but then go to New York or Missouri or even Germany. or maybe Israel.

Or I could die. Die from Cancer in a few years or months, have an alergic reaction, get food poisoning, or I could get hit by a car tomorrow.

The point is I want to Live now, I want to live the life God has for me on this day in this second. I hate sitting still, unless I need to think.

As far as music goes I'm currently listening to some opensource Nerdcore.
A group called Pronobozo, who I discovered through the show Hak.5, do a sort of rap meets techno type music that they've put under the Creative Commons License so that others can use, remix or/and redistribute their music freely is the group currently in my sights with the songs:

0. Song - Album
1. Time Frame - Zero = One = Everything
2. Sniper - Zero = One = Everything
3. Reinvent - Zero = One = Everything

Following up with a Nu Metal group called Deftones that's been around since 1988 that produce these songs that I like:

4. Mein - Saturday Night Wrists
5. Xerces - Saturday Night Wrists

Still listening to some David Vandervelde as well, the songs on the list this week are:

6. Wisdom from a Tree - The Moonstation House Band
7. Heaven Weeps

The last three songs on my list are "officially" done by a Fictional Indie Metal Band, if there could be such a thing, called Deathmøle. Created in my second favourite webcomic called Questionable Content by characters Marten and Amir, the creator of QC, Jeph Jaques, has been making Deathmøle MP3 tracks with his own guitar and audio programs for a while, making entire albums which he has for download at his site for free.

8. Test (Crashed) - Amps
9. Useless Proverb - Trial Period
10. Bones

As always thank you for read, do good work and may God bless,

-Brent Lillard

No comments:

Post a Comment