Monday, April 5, 2010

Silence, Faith and Rock.

Wow, I've been blogging more than usual, lately...
It seems, actually, I've gone from a person who tried to create a system for his own blogs to a simple life blogger.
I like life blogging, it allows me to talk about the thoughts on my head that keep poking at the sides of my skull even if they aren't that pressing.

Well, today is a kind of boring day and contrary to my original intentions I haven't really done anything.
I had planned on going for a walk today and maybe checking out a local store in down town called Ben Franklyn, which seems to be the oddity store around here. But I haven't gone yet and I don't really feel like window shopping, really.
However, I may walk that way, anyway.

So anyway, I logged onto Facebook today saw a video that Rob Bell had made and put up on Vimeo talking about the Resurrection and what it means. As usual, the message was lifting and energizing

Exciting much? What I want to know, is who did the music?! That was a cool collection of sounds!

Anyway, this got me thinking about my own beliefs. I mean, I have said, time and time again, that my foundation of faith in God is based on my perception of a natural universe and because of that perception and my interpretation of the God of Israel I believe in the Jewish God and because of my interpretation of that God and my interpretation of Jesus teaching I believe in Jesus Christ.
Father Abraham, son of Terah, believed that God partook of this universe, he spoke to a God that wanted to make a difference in the world at that moment using the creation it had made in it's image, in a time when most of the world believe in a multiple gods and goddesses that either existed in the past or in a realm far, far from the earth we stand on.
At the time, this was radical, but thousands of years later a prophet and rabbi named Joshua (Yhoshva) had claimed to have been sent from God himself, he claimed to be God's Son.
Now, today this man is known better as Jesus Christ and Jesus reminded his followers that God is not a being of the past, but a being in the now. He showed us that being a human means we are made of God's essence, we matter and our lives matter.
What yanks me into belief is what some people would call coincidence. Everything in my life is connected, every person, every action, every off-handed comment has lead me to this point like a precise set of dominoes that wraps around the earth a thousand times.
It's a pattern that is seen in everyone's life. A connected set of "coincidences" that lead so precisely to very specific events that interconnect to so many others.
Every time I doubt, I am reminded how intricate the patterns of the past and present are and how it feels in the presence of creativity and love.
I mean there is a lot more to this, but too much to write in a blog.....

So that was an interesting tangent, kind of.
So today has turned out rather uneventful. I had called my Girlfriend to see if she wanted to do anything, but something else was in way, which is cool and I never did get around to taking that walk.

Ahead in the week I plan on bring to the attention of some of my friends April 16th, this years "Day of Silence".
The National Day of Silence, for those of you who don't know, is a day when Students, from Middle school to College, participate in a massive protest against the silencing, bullying and general persecution of L.G.B.T. Teens by taking a vow of silence.
On the National Day of Silence hundreds of thousands of students nationwide take a vow of silence to bring attention to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in their schools.
While I don't go to school, I will live out my day completely silent, communicating with writing when required and I plan to ask some of my friends to participate as well. Especially my friends who I am directly out to as a pansexual.
I already know several people here who are homosexual, bisexual or otherwise and I know that some are in the closet, essentially silenced in fear of their peers, family or fellow citizens in this small town who would no doubt snub or harass them.
I myself am out to almost all of my friends, including one of them who outward claims homophobia, but in fear I am constantly forced by my fear to remain silent from my family.
My struggle with being in the closet and discovering and identifying my own sexuality, which I can't control, was made extremely difficult by the silence of and persecution of LGBT people in general.
It's the 21st century, this is America, let's start making sense.

And it has just come to my knowledge that my black nail polish has come to it's... demise. I must procure some new nail polish.
I had been using Sally's (Thankies, Caeleigh!) but Emma (Radsome GF) had told me about a particular brand, however for the life of me, I can't remember what it was.... I'll ask her Wednesday at bell choir and try it Thursday. I also want to get a dark green and, as Shane put, gun metal blue.
For reference, I only do my left hand.

So, on a short music rant, I haven been listening to a lot of 1960 Rock 'n' Roll. It started with Buffalo Springfield..... Oh dear....

Anyway, I think I will call this one and watch a movie.
As usual, thank you for reading.

Do good work and may God bless,
Brent Matthew Lillard

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