Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Because that's fair

So last night me and my "Lover" went to the town fair and it turned out to be a lot of fun.
We met up with some friends and through out the evening kept adding to group until we meandering from ride to exhibit to ride again in a posse.
We rode a number of rides, watched the silliest (and dirtiest?) puppet show ever and talked about the usual teenage quirks. Immaturity, sexuality, cigarettes and grace.
The lot of us ran into a lot friends hither and dither and by the end of the night we were making boob jokes, talking knives, laughing and eating the free food that the closing venders kept throwing at us. Oh, apparently the mystery of my dimensions was the subject of great wonder.
Which dimension? ... Do I need to draw you a diagram? Think, lower extremities.
But yes, it was all good fun and hysterical laughter.
I had this great conversation with our friend Conner about what it feels like to flip a 2009 Dodge Cobalt at 50 miles an hour while riding ride that introduce very similar forces of physics.
I also bought a new spring-action knife, which me and Conner discovered doubles as a bayonet, ironically. (Will stick a picture on Flickr, Brent Matthew Lillard)
My babe and I enjoyed a big ol' funnel cake while mocking a puppet show's hidden innuendos (like one does to children fairytales).
Finally met an individual I'd heard so much about who was quite funny and interesting. Of course I met a number of people I hope to see again. So all is good.
When it was all said and done, her, I and the lot all climbed into cars headed to our respective homes.
Then I had this big phone discussion with her about whether or not I'm a faithful because some jokes I had made at the fair.
Seriously? Me? Unfaithful?
It's me.
Though, I could understand her concern. I'm different most guys, I think differently, I try my hardest not be the stereotype and be a good person an good partner. But people just don't expect that from a guy, I guess.
We went on for like an hour or two discussing my mentality and discussing the evening.
I mean, I can understand. I mean there was this one girl who was obviously coming onto me rather strongly and it was making me very uncomfortable every time we ended up standing alone.
Don't get me wrong, very cute girl and very funny. But I like the person I have. My relationships mean something to me and I'm not going to give something that's important to me, or risk it.
And she knows that, so we came to a point where we saw eye to eye and she knows she can trust me.
The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt her. I'm not like most guys, the other girls don't look prettier to me. I like who I have just the way they are.

Trust is very important.
Whether it be a business, social, family or romantic context. Trust is most important.
I try to always be honest. Obviously, I shoot for a higher level of transparency than most, given the fact I write a public blog.
I mean, yes, I have my secrets and things I just don't talk about. I'm in the family room closet. I don't talk about bathroom humour, even in the family where that seems to be the subject of thanksgivings supper. Wow.
I even had an online discussion with Aunt this morning. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I could trust her, because of arguments and disagreements we've had in our past. However, I quickly saw what was really on her mind and that she wasn't intent of pulling the veil of one of the few things I hide from just a few people.
I believe I can trust her and because of this, event hough we haven't exactly hit it off in the past few years, I think this will certainly help our relationship grow.

I have said time and time again that we fear what we don't understand. Trust is the opposite of that, it's believing in something you don't have to understand. Faith.
With faith comes growth and from growth comes understanding.
I like to think I'm wiser than most people my age, that I see things on a different plain. That's only because I refuse to fear what can hurt me.
"Fear is the path to the dark side: fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." - Yoda, Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Thank you for reading,
Brent Matthew Lillard

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