Thursday, December 9, 2010

Crystaline, pt. 1

Crystaline, it does not dissolve, but shatters like violent waves that cut through the tissue and break at the bone. You hold hot iron, I cherish lead, but when the sky shatters none of that matters. You are the one who will stand when no one says you can. You will will look upon it's fragments when hell rains down upon the distant crag. It will wash away impurities, but can you survive that? Can you exist without them? He couldn't. No, not yet.
He cried out. He escaped like a coward. He ran and screamed at god in her love. She did not answer. She put him on a a shelf and in a jar where his screams would not extend.
This is about you. Who are you? Do you know who you are? If you think you do, you are probably wrong. You are not short, you are not pretty, you are not strong, you are not like me, you are not who I wish you were, you are not my pain, you are not my pride, you disgust me, but you do not. So who are you?
You are beautiful.
Where does this go from here?
You are the finder, I am the searcher. I will question and you wont answer. You will run, like you have. Like I have in my cowardice.
I ran from the truth. I was frightened of the constructs. I am physically scarred to prove it. She ran, always ran because of the lies she told herself. Who is she? She was many. She would have ran eventually, but did so early in her fear of the lies within herself. He ran because he was not afraid, he just didn't know it. Who was he? He was a few good souls. He may have walked away, but only after he had learned. They ran, because they were cowards. Who were they? They were the ones who tore down the broken. They were the ones who, because of their insecurities, I became a believer in mercy and became wiser and even enraged.
I want the questions. Even if the answer is more questions, it excites me. I want to walk that road, covered by the fragments of the sky that burn in the brimstone. The storm is not that which I fear, it is that which cleanses and washes away the blood and black flame that awaits us further. It is that which we channel when we hold that person in our arms, when we shake the hand of them or meet the lips that we miss so long. It is that which strikes fear in us all. It is the essence of God herself. It is the essence of life lasting and it will tear us down, but we need it.