Tuesday, November 29, 2011
One
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Align="Justify"
So I've been rooting around in the old HTML script for my blog last night and this morning. Rechoosing typeface, colour order, simplifying the appearance and red aligning such things. I'm also updated the layout, begun work on a portfolio page, reorganized my links and redid the about me page. I think it all is starting to unify quite well. • Also had a crazy conversation about Zapdos and sexy snakes (not to be confused with solid snake) with the other cute one over text machine! • So I've come to try and begin work on a project that Professor Kolossus gave us (making a menu in InDesign) but I am completely useless in InDesign. I can't even figure out how to begin. I was told it was just like Illustrator and clearly it is, only a different foundation! WHAT THE FRAK‽ • Onward and forward to the old crusty html script. I must further declutter! • See you next time! • Brent Matthew Lillard • @SAKUTOnoSai
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Regression
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Jobs
1955-2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Midtermination!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Clearly not Irish
I dunno how it happened per se, but the Girlfriend, Jenna, is simply captivating intellectually and so full of soul and humor and…. Now, don't give me that look. Seriously, it started off innocent and we were talking and to this day we haven't stopped talking. I have never had this sort of relationship or friendship where I have been this intellectually engaged, like a constant stream. Also she takes my bullshitting and throws it right back at me, which is something I've always wanted.
But recently, I've been really not miserable, I've been worrying a lot and thinking a ton, but I'm not feeling self destructive anymore. I'm feeling good about the future, frightened by the midterm and excited about the unknown of being with someone who peeks my interest in a way it hasn't been prodded in a really long time.
WHen I was miserable, I was stupid. I lied, I lost my temper, I let myself get hurt, I was self destructive on an emotional level and I let someone eles make me believe I was not good.
I'm going to take this one slow, rethink everything and be only me.
This is good.
I can't wait to see what comes next.
Monday, September 12, 2011
E. J. Raul
The moment I had entered the Youth loft I hadn't been familiar to in about nine months I had let our a yelling burst, "Anyone here that lived?"
With that I heard a squeal and as a short, beautiful brunette young woman rounded the corner and I could swear I could hear her feet skidding on the rug as she dashed and took me in a leaping embrace.
I swung her in the air and set her down.
This girl gives the best hugs I have received in my life and her name is Emma and she is one of my finest friends.
We got to hang before and after service. Whilst I tried to claim her chair as a footrest she sat in it anyway, it's just how we roll.
Today I managed to meet my former youth leader, onward mentor and good friend Misti. This woman is probably one of the most real, down to earth and loving youth pastor I will ever have the pleasure of meeting. My experience in her youth group is far too complex and great to put into words in a single blog of the Dexter U.M.Y..
Home, Let me come HomeAnyway, I got to visit with her at our local bestselling Mexican Restaurant. We sat for a bit catching up and discussing our recent/occurring endevers of the heart, the youth group, college and pretty much everything else.
Home is Whenever I'm with you
Home, yes I am Home
Home is wherever I'm with you
- Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
We also discussed Rob Bell's recent book, Love Wins. I am a huge fan of Rob Bell and I've been wanting to read his book. I already have the audiobook, but I haven't gotten around to it. It's the most controversial book in Christian Literature right now and according to her it's fantastic. I really can't wait to read/listen to it.
So, I'm listening to a record by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. I got their album after hearing "Home" and it's fantastic. It's got a really 60s folk rock and rool appeal and I really like that.
It's fantastic. It reminds me of combining Simon & Garfunkel with Abba and the Rolling Stones, only better their nasty love children.
Also I saw a good movie tonight. It's called the help it's about the black help hired back in the sixties how they were treated. It's a good film pertaining to the civil rights movement. I don't really know how to explain it without giving away the plot, but it was really good.
Man, I am feeling tired. I do believe it's time I called it in so I say to you, my readers, may God bless you and try to have a wonderful day, night, or morning where ever it is you are in the world. (even in the Philippines)
But before I go I want to address that. Blogger underwent a really cool overhaul and I was looking at my stats and I have filipino reader(s). Not that I care who reads this, but that's pretty cool. So if you're still reading, thanks for reading!
Fantabulous!
Brent Matthew Lillard
Friday, September 9, 2011
Flight 665
So tomorrow morning I hop on a plain for south east Missouri, middle America.
Oh joy!
I'll see the old Youth Group on Sunday, just so I can observe.
I will likely first see Shane or Emma first after Misti and the gang.
Maybe Arthur. It would be really nice to see Arthur again.
And when I get back I get to go with a friend for Sushi after school sometime!
Anyway, I'm really tired, I have to drive to Islip tomorrow and spend a day in airports.
So until next time I wish you good health, good night and may God bless you.
Brent Matthew Lillard
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Ocarina!
The finished poster to the left
Got in a few hours of lab time tonight, sent a description e-mail to Kolossus, explaining the design and made a new friend. Straight razor-combed hair, clearly not irish and very interesting, very pretty and I remember her name. Also in graphic design, I'm not sure what her exact focus is though.
Anyway, I decided to hang out on campus after the last class and we hung for they day before her class and while she was in class I hung in the computer lab exploring the uses of Illustrator.
In fact I finally made a vector for the logo I like so much and I made a new banner for the blog. Look it. It's simple.
Today was a good day at college. Steve is no longer Steve to his face cause I think the humor wore off. I always enjoy the company of the other cute girl and Steve. To qualify, the other cute girl is not specifically the one who I call "Fashionable", although Fashionable was not please when she saw I finished my Advertisement before her.
On the subject of the cute one, which is a really funny pseudonym to choose, I know, but I lack creativity and I introduced her into the picture as "this other cute girl". But about her, she had a really fly hoodie today. It was Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and on the back it had like six weapons. It was so bloody awesome! She's really cool, I didn't think she was that terribly interesting when I first came across her, but she's definitely awesome. And you know, the same goes for Steve. When I first saw him, I was under the impression that was just up in our Koolaid, but he's really awesome and has a great artistic talent.
On the subject of her inadvertent pseudonym I should disclose that YES, I do openly admit to the world if I find someone cute, attractive or pretty. Equally if I find someone unattractive I may or may not note it. Just incase someone reading this is getting any bright ideas. Of course, that would be neither here nor there cause I of all people know that anything is possible!
By the end of the night me and my new friend gave up on going to get dinner together and I walked her to her car and then back to my car and headed home. Now we're badgering each other with bizarre questions. LIfe is interesting.
Until next time,
+Brent Matthew Lillard
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Absolutely!
"You say you can't stand me when I'm quiet, so I shot you with my silence."I've had this song stuck in my head for a while and that lyric is the most sinister thing I've ever heard. It's a truly cruel, hateful and powerful statement that is so true of someone who makes a point.
–Lykke Li, This Trumpet in My Head
Just thought I'd share that, cause I found it be a really bold text for a song.
So I was talking to an Artist friend of mine and by artist I mean she actually is purely an artist by trade. Anyway her name is Robin and we were showing each other our artwork and designs and I really liked her stuff so I asked her if I could go ahead and mention her in a blog post and show off some of her art. Now, I haven't done my homework, but what I understand is that she sells prints and some originals.
She has a unique style, but branches out a lot, which is really cool. She tends to do very magical and whimsical pieces, but I've seen some almost photo real works like this one on the blog of Gable and Lumbard. I gathered from our conversation that she'll do commissions, but I reserve the right to be wrong.
The picture I really thought was cute was this picture of a witch, Gilda, and her kitty.
Anyway her handles online tend to be Robin Pushe'e or Robin Pushay, but do a search Robin Pushi and if you find a series of fantasy paintings you're in the right area.
It's interesting to me how you can miss something, perhaps triggered by a memory at the wrong time. Like a memory that you never forgot, it just went into remission whenever you called on it before. But it causes you to miss something you haven't have in a long time.
This case, in case you're curious, is my friend Emma's hug. Now, she has the best most reassuring and warm hug. Of course the want is something a little more primal, it's for that moment in time.
Now, you have to understand this was particular hug, a running tackle of a hug she threw at me during the best part of our romantic relationship. I had come home from a trip, which one I can't remember, but the moment runs in my head so clear. She saw me cross the threshold from her kitchen and about knocked me over in a tight embrace.
Now, I'm glad that relationship ended on a high note and I wouldn't want it to have lasted any longer than it had. Don't mistake my feelings as wanting her back, no. I've since fallen in and out of love with others and I've moved on. But that moment in time is one of those moments of perfection in life where time stood still for me.
There's a couple like that which I could pull out of my mind.
Another would be this time with my first girlfriend, Jennifer. I was sitting across a staircase, my feet up against one wall and my back to the other and Jimmy was a stair down and she leaned back against my stomach and I put my arm around her shoulders and there was peace in me.
Another was on this cliff on a plateau in New Mexico. I was in the Navajo nation and while my comrades had stopped about two stories below us, me and the local young lady named Candy climbed to the very top an I could see for miles.
Absolut Pride |
It's really weird how the mind perceives things, isn't?
Also, school was fun today. I got to hang with the bunch. Steve, M and Hipster over lunch mostly, Fashionable in between everything and the whole lot at last class.
In basic, Kolossus gave us our next design project. Again, it's a advertising firm sort of gag so Kolossus told us to make a vodka add for Absolut Vodka, from Sweden, in the infamous Absolut campaign style.
So I decided to go with my first gut instinct which is a sort of through the looking glass sort of theme with the tagline, "Absolut Clarity" or "Absolut Klarhet"if I decide to be fancy. It will require doing my own recourse photography and a lot of photoshop time while I'm in Missouri if I continue to follow the concept sketch.
Me and Fashionable were tossing a ideas a bit and poking fun at each other as she flew miles ahead of me by actually getting her design into Photoshop while I was still on my sketch. I don't know her tagline, but I loved the idea. It's an Absolut bottle shape in the clouds over a grassy knoll. It's like very envirogreen!
The other Idea I really dug was a fellow across the room from us who was turning a bottle shape from atomic explosions on an atomic wasteland. The downside is that he was using a rather bad tagline: "Absolute Destruction" which either translates to me as "let's get shit faced" or "let's kill our livers! =D".
Mind you, I like Absolut Vodka.
Until Next Time,
+Brent Matthew Lillard
Thursday, September 1, 2011
ARTISTIC!!!
So I barely made it into class due to a horrific traffic delay, exchanged a smile with Fashionable Artist and took the only open seat and a grimace shared with Professor Kolossus.
Prof. Kolossus began our adventure with a creative exercise and essentially gave us a talk for us each to handle in our own way.
There is a company called T.K. Tile and we are each to create a logo with a tagline.
In my case, as seen on the right, I chose a simple design and two/three word tagline.
Obviously it all began with a sketch.
The Lady sitting next to me (We'll call her "the artist Mom") went with a mosaic design I really liked. The Sketch that I think took the cake would be either Miss Fashionable's design (a sort of TK with the tail of the K wrapping around with the Tagline in it) or the young woman next to her who had the most simplistic design I'd ever seen.
It was my first time really work with Adobe Illustrator, so it was certainly an enlightening experience. I just kind of winged it and it worked!
So after class me and made our way across to the Peconic building, exchanged the textbook and I went to look into transferring to GRD102. The class was packed out and the only opening was late in the evening. Bo-ring!
Anyway, met up with Steve, this fellow designer who hangs with Katie, myself and another artist as of today. Also I never remember his name, but now I do. In this case we'll call him Steve. He's got a tuft of a beard, wears a cardigan and a fedora. Also, a fellow dude with an insanely out of the norm, but classy dressing style.
With him was a guy who's studying History Eduction and another cute girl who has a thing for anime, straight-edge drawing. Dunno, what we'll call her, but I do remember her name.
Anyway, she's funny and into anime and those are plusses.
The Education major, we'll call him the Hipster, has a taste for indie and was purposely trying out hipster me with his bizarre taste which is a big plus in my book.
I didn't put up much of a fight cause I was in a rhythmic mood in the mess.
Illustrator class was fun and filled in a few blanks I was drawing during Graphic Design. After seeing how it worked I hopped on it and even got to help a few of the other classmen.
After Illustrator I met back up with the gang outside Corchaug we four went to seminar.
The seminar was frustrating because I feel like I did the "How do I learn" test wrong cause it put me under auditory, which I am not, lol. I'm visual, lol.
I'm going to redo the test alone, when I can think properly. (I can't concentrate on my answers with people talking around me.)
We three parted with Fashionable and saw Steve and the girl I spoke of earlier off to the bus stop and headed home.
On a personal note, yes I'm still depressed. But seriously, that's a constant state for me, it's like this single dwelling of miniature down and it's chronic. I'm not going to let it bother me, I mean, the best works of art and literature come from the darkness in our souls, right? And this is too much fun!
Anyway, that is all for now!
+Brent Matthew Lillard
@SAKUTOnoSai
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Graphic Designer
Monday, August 29, 2011
A shuttering breath
Friday, August 26, 2011
Depressed? POSH! Is too funny!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday sauce on Monday Morning
Sunday, June 5, 2011
It moves me....
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wow, a lot of stuff!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
She
Monday, April 11, 2011
So there's this girl....
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Three and Half Year Questions...
What is God?
Why would she let these things happen to us?
Why do good people die such horrible deaths?
Why should I even try to live.
What was Jesus.
Would he have been disappointed with what his followers had come to do?
Would he be proud of those of us trying set things right.
What is love.
Why is pain important.
Why are there so horrific wars?
What is spirituality.
What is a friend.
What is beauty.
Life for me is about learning and find the questions within the answers of the questions I asked before, but there are some questions I can't solve like: what do you say someone who's lost someone so important to them like a mother or a father to death?
I've been there, too.
I lost my father three and half years ago and as a result I tried everything and came out of that sheltered existence I'd been living.
For me, it was easy because my father's death was peaceful and I watch it like a far off symphony and everything was alright right there and right then. Him and I had an understand about what death meant to us, that in our beliefs death was not the end. It wasn't the beginning, but it was not the end.
Intelectual beliefs and spiritual grounding isn't everything, though, because there is pain when you can't see, touch or hear that person you've known all you're life. This pain can drive you to not listen to logic or let you're emotions get the very best of you.
For my mother, she was bedridden for over a year. She cared about living and about her family, but she couldn't live there without him, not yet.
For me, I was self destructive and self aware. I was trying to find way to destroying myself while at the same time struggling with what God and life was and I told no one.
I directly know how it feels to lose my father and yet I have no idea how to be there for someone who I care about who's going through the same thing.
I speak of my friend who recently lost her mother.
I've only known her and her husband for a while since I've moved here, but she's my friend and if you've been paying attention, I deeply care about people who I consider my friends. It might be a flaw in my character, but I don't think so.
All I have to stand on is some flawed charisma and what I remember that made me feel better.
There is a Jewish practice I remember reading about that I've always found to be good and proper called Sitting Shiva (forgive me if I've butchered it) where you sit with someone in mourning. Now, you don't say anyway. You just be near them and if they talk, then you talk. If they cry, you support them. You just stand by and be close.
In my scriptures there is a calling to the Christian people to be there for those in pain or mourning. As it says in terms of spreading God's love, and I paraphrase, spread the good news or word of God and only if you have to, use words.
For me this hits home, because I know words sting in times of pain.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Oh the distance....
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
A couple weeks.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Natural Twenties
Anyway, I'm excited about getting them and read them again.
So today is monday which means slow day. I'm just kicking back, reading, talk to friends and listening to music.
I've been in an indie mood again recently. Listening to a lot of Brie Stoner, David Vandervelde and The War On Drugs.
I recently discovered The War On Drugs while hanging out of the Secretly Canadian website, because I was checking out Vandervelde's newest single, "Checkin' Out My Baby" which is really different from his almost bluegrass influenced psychedelic 60s sound. The and EP still sounds great! Just more rock than before. And the other some from "Summer Time Hits" (the EP) called "Learn How to Hang" is very much his style. Very nice.
Anyway, War On Drugs is very good. Kind of reminded me of really really old folk country from it's origins in some songs, which was a nice contrast to there very indie sound which is mellow but kind of uplifting. I got the album Future Weather which includes some unique instrumental and some great mellow work. Surreal would be how describe it. Check them out.
I also found out about a great indie music station on the radio. It's the third radio HD channel on 90.7 WFUV in the city. it's called The Alternate Side and it play all sorts of eclectic and indie music across the New York area and beyond. Though I can't pick it up on the radio, they stream the broadcast online so I have the stream in my radio playlist on iTunes so I listen to that a lot. It's all music and so far no commercials... I think. I also like to listen to the AM station 1100 when in the car. Lot's of older music from like the Sinatra era. It's awesome.
Well, thank you for reading and sorry for the longer post than normal.
May God bless and peace be with you,
Brent Matthew Lillard
@SAKUTOnoSai
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Retarded? No, I am not impeded.
1: to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment : impede