Wednesday, January 11, 2012


So it's January the eleventh of two-thousand & twelve.
The new years stands for me always to be a reflective time for me that spans from noon on new years eve to about bedtime on my birthday as they are twenty three days apart
Being my birthday in twelve days and roughly a year since I landed here in the tri-state area, I find myself unable to sleep and in turn reflective.
So with the start of a new year, many turn to futile gestures of new years resolutions, I however look back at this year and find that twenty eleven was in and of itself the year of resolutions on my part.
I've had a lot thrown at me and while I can't say I was always at my best, in fact in some cases I was at my worst; I do have to say I really pushed my potential to new heights.
The ups and downs have brought me unexpected to a point of human perfection, if you can handle the paradox.
I came here looking for work and I found it and went to work at a factory as a machinist and setup. It was fun, I honed a proper work ethic and skills. And now I work in the field of my study at Spectrum Designs doing what I love. I get paid for what I love to do! I got work!
I came here to go to school, too, and I'm an A student in all my core classes. Those classes helped me hone skills that put me in my current employment!
I've had my up and downs with love and caring and friends. I've been heart broken a few times, sometimes by the same person thrice. As always, however, moved on with stride taking what I learned. I mean, I failed in the summer and Jenna and I, I guess, just weren't compatible.
I've become more honest, not with others, but with myself and become more believing in who I am and who I wanted to be when I came here. 
It's taken time to lose it and regain it, but my faith is stronger than ever in humanity, love and Jesus! I crave the peace that I once was so excited to spread, again!
ANd the friends I've collected, at this point I have the perfect collection of friends! From Tim's influence, to my Master's ranting, from the prodding of Dr. Kolossus to the prodding from Techy, from politics with the Historian to romance with the Cute One!

SO much has molded me this year and lead me in fifty directions until reaching this point where I sit.

I sit now, at the beginning of a year unwanted of new years resolutions, ready for the next year of my LIFE to begin.
I am exactly where I wanted to be a year ago and even where I was unawarely yearning for all this time.

I have the job of my dreams at Spectrum Designs Foundation with Patrick and Alex and Nicole and even Mr. Nicholas. I'm doing what I love for a cause I so very much believe in and I don't think I ever want to stop!
I'm studying what I've always wanted to since I was old enough to know what artist meant.
Come Thursday a year of hard work may come to fruition at long last.
I have terrific friends locally and at school and in New York City. Whether I go to Friday Night Magic to see Henry, Jay, Tim and TJ; head out to the Hampton's or catch a train into the city, I always have friends to lean on for guidance, support or good humour.
I'm becoming the person I want to be. The same person I wanted to be when I was sitting in church more than a year ago. Now, I understand what I wanted so much more.
And there's this person I've know for several months and since the day I saw her, I knew on some level I liked her, but I didn't want to jump the gun. I'd messed up doing that before. Well, the feeling was mutual and we've since become good friends. We recently became more and I'm really happy.
Like seriously, we get along on so many levels, like so many of the same things, our signs match, we've got a good history. When we're together, I feel more at peace than I think I've felt in over a year.

It's been a hard year. Adapting, changing, searching, learning. I mean, this peace I get from everything (her, work, me) almosts makes me want to cry, like in a good way. It washes over me.

Happy new year it is.