Saturday, February 4, 2012

tinker

I don't do much tinkering anymore. It's something I crave. Like many of the things I stopped doing but didn't grow out of. Tinkering, modding, drawing, cooking. These are all things I love to do, I just don't.

So I've found some music I like that is under creative commons.
Check this out:


So, I'm really happy with Meghan. It's been about a month this Friday. I couldn't do anything on friday so I didn't bring it up since it appeared she hadn't noticed. She's not really one to watch the clock and I, myself, have an uncanny habit of keeping track of these things.
But, yeah, I'm happy. It's the smoothest month I've had in a long time and as far as I can see we're both really happy.

 I've got that zen thing back and I'm much more focused on what I want to be again. The whole of last semester, it feel like my energy and creativity are flowing freely again. I can write again, I feel alive and free.

There's a key difference in Love and Lost (not to be confused with lust), when you love someone, it's good for you and it doesn't damage you. More accurately, you don't damage yourself. That's at least the way I see it.
You can hurt yourself to no end holding onto to something you think makes you happy, but it's nothing compared to a person who makes you happy.
And if you don't understand, then maybe it's because you don't want to.

Or maybe I'm just a raving idiot because I love someone.

Hey, I wouldn't deny the possibly that I could be a raving idiot. But I'm not! How often have really talked about my feelings for someone in a blog. THat is to say, using the L-word? Hardly ever in the moment, yes?  Something's different and I like it.

So school is moving along and I'm not that interested this semester. It's all software and drawing. The only class that really interests me is our class with Dr. Kolossus. Typographic Design.
It's funny! I got in the class with a bunch of my other friends and colleagues from Kolossus' Basic class last semester. I'm still sat next to the Croatian and now the Veg is on my otherside with the Fashionable one. Ferdinand (and if you're reading this, it's not an insult, I'm just not using your actual name) and the Music Buff still sit across the room and so does Lazy Bones, who I've recently gain a new found respect for in terms of design tast.
Of the new ones, we've got The Girl with Hair like Ramona Flowers, Her friendly friend, Hipster Steve (Our favourite hispanic! – bit a of an inside joke) and a handful of others who haven't seen enough of to really label yet. (You know who you are)
Jenna's also in the class. She doesn't really talk to me or acknowledge me without me asking, but I respect her as a colleague in the highest degree. She's really quite smart and I've been trying to lay down some olive branches. I certainly ask her for help if I want it.

I don't think I really talked about what happened between me and her last month. I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, but she decided for some reason or another that I was an asshole and that she didn't want to be a friend of mine anymore.
Honestly, I don't know what exactly did happen. Last I'd heard we were on good terms and the next thing I know I'm being yelled at. This hurt, but I respect that decision and it's hers to make. But I wont give her special treatment, that would be unfair and could be spiteful.
I mean, having your new boyfriend drive you to your exes house and then ignoring him yelling things like "shut the fuck up" and "worthless" at your ex is not my idea of class. But that's more of the gentleman, himself who I hold accountable to that idiocy. I'll admit I may have not heard him correctly when he was cussing me out from the middle of the street, but I reserve the right to make my own judgements based on what happened.
I hope she ends up happier than she was with me, I really do.

My photoshop class is bullshit easy, InDesign not really an issue and 2D design has a really long winded but really quirky artist for a professor. I like him, he's old and cool with good music taste and a knack for nighttime black and white film photography.

Last night my aunt exploded at me for arguing with her about something I wasn't even arguing and to save going to into detail I'm going to segue to the fact that we talked today and discussed the fact that we haven't been talking much these days and worked out a schedule and agreements and decided we'd talk more.