Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Gray 25, 109 Green and Lightgray

This blog is all about how I see the world. Whether it be music (Brown Eyes by Lady Gaga, at the moment), equality (PANSEXUAL PRIDE!), Politics (Anarchy; live and let live, or she with the biggest tank wins.), Philosophy (Life as it is perceived at the moment is always beautiful, but this is only the eye of the storm.), my perception of my peers(Shane is funny, but in the "that's just wrong" sort of way.) or my day to day life (So I just beat Jak & Daxter 100% for the first time on PS2).
It is meant to be the uncensored, not thought out and open valve for my thoughts told publicly without discretion. If my friend's read it, hate how they are perceived, tough. If my Family comes upon this and finds out how the other half operates, I'll not change it to meet their standards.
For example. I have no problem saying that I like it rough (yes, in that way). That I hate my mother's latest version of meatloaf and that I sent her that anonymous E-Mail with a better variation. That I flirt off handed with everyone without effort or thinking about, and I don't think that's a bad thing. That I am pansexual, though, my family has no clue, they would consider that gay and attempt an intervention and send me to one of those eunuch camps. That I am just a little frustrated that I haven't even french'd with my girlfriend after seven months and that's just a male teenaged impulse that doesn't matter. Or that I'm a total waste in my mind cause I haven't gotten a job in ten months of trying, I'm lazy without anything to do and I spend most of my time studying the bible, reading literature or on the computer, because I have nothing better to do. And that I actually find stilettos and very high-heels unattractive.

The whole world can know this. Those aren't secrets, those aren't extremely ground breaking things. While I value physical privacy, I see privacy on this level as a mere modern luxury and I have found that I don't like secrets. I keep so many other people's secrets that I'd rather have only three or four secrets of my own.
And since this is my perception I spent a great deal of time fiddling with the HTML template to create my own style. (on my actual blogspot, if you're reading this in on Facebook or RSS reader)

The colours of my blog are important to my perception of my life and everything in it. Dark, dark gray because of the neutrality of it, my world is dark, I see more beauty in the storm, lightning is no brighter than it is in the gloom under the hurricane.
Hue 109, green, because I'm colour blind to the extent that I cannot see green, even though it is one of my favourite colours. But this particular colour of green I can see with vivid clarity.

A little whimsical, but that's how I perceive that colour, this whole thing is about perception.
The light gray, as appose to white is because it's bright enough in this darkness.

So let's be random and be proud of who we are. Yes, now I'm talking to you. The reader. Be proud of who you are. I am a pathetic excuse of the human condition who thinks too highly of himself and yet I am proud of myself. So you should be too.... And I have a limp that I glared at by an lovely German-American Ninja in Train because I still haven't had it looked at.

So because it's late I want to say Happy Independence day to my fellow Americans. I am proud to be an American and I proud of my freedom. I am thankful for the simple freedom that I have to post this blog about whatever I want. No matter how unpatriotic, vulgar or obscene it may be.

So this weekend was unexpectedly fun. Shane dropped by Friday afternoon while my mother was in Parma for homecoming. We hung out, listened to loud music, talked about stuff, caught up and ate pizza. It's kind of relieving being more on an official peer level, now.
Anyway, I stayed with him, cause in the morning we (Nicole included) were taking a relative of theirs to a water park. On Saturday.
It sure as heck beat my plans this weekend.
So, long story short, I drove the glorified golfcart home, bid him adieu and then discovered in a couple hours I do burn, but only on the top of my shoulders (and my face, but I already knew that) and only minorly. THANK GOD FOR MY NATIVE BLOOD!

Sunday we discovered our new Pastor at Dexter First United Methodist. He's funny, energetic and I think he'll give our small town church the kick in the pants it needs.
Side-note to channel my "Inner-Gay-Man" and "Drooling-Straight-Boyfriendness": Awesome.

Today was slow, I was going to do nothing but sit around, which I did, so that I wouldn't have to work my sun burnt shoulders as well as worry about my worthless free time.... Wait.
Anyway, I sat down in front of my bedroom television and repaired it and then proceeded to do some file management on my old PS2 memory cards (so many save files from games I haven't played in years.....) and recovered 3 megabytes collectively.
Yeah, today wasn't that productive. But tomorrow if it isn't too hot, I plan to walk to the church in the morning to think and then maybe driving out to bluff to put in my application for the next open term at TRCC.

S0, that's my life and my rants.
Take it how you wish.

Brent Matthew Lillard

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